Alien Nation ( * * * * )

When oh when will they do a sequel to this kick-ass cop movie? Yes, it has aliens in it, but that's beside the point: It's A Kick-Ass Cop Movie. With aliens.

The Acting: Is better than its genre requirements. James Caan and Mandy Patinkin are fantasic as a mismatched pair of cops, one alien, one James Caan. Terence Stamp chews up scenery and spits it out as the villain. A sweet assortment of eighties character actors fill out the ranks. I love the alien stripper and the doomed-from-scene-one black partner.

The Story: Aliens land smack-dab in the middle of the Reagen Era, and come to epitomise everything from our fears of migrant workers to the spread of AIDS to, hell, probably terrorism and the war in Iraq. But It's Still A Kick-Ass Cop Movie.

The Direction: Good directors can get good performances out of marginal actors. James Caan really shines as a failed father and failed partner who is racially bigoted against his alien partner, but has to slowy come to respect him, even though he treats him like shit the whole movie. I love it when he barks, "Bring my gun!" after getting a specially-modfied, five-round-holding alien-killer gun and showing it off to his alien partner on the police shooting range. And the way he turns down the sexual advances of the aforementioned alien stripper by saying, "It's nothing personal. I"m a bigot." Or the way he derides his partner Sam Francisco's beaver-eating habits (no, literally) and the way he gets drunk on chunky, rotton milk and even forces him to change his name to George Francisco. You'll never see more mismatched or loveable cop partners, not even in the other great cop movie ever made, Ron Howard's Backdraft.

Overall: Alien Nation creates a fully-realized world that operates according to its own consistent rules, and nothing is used for cheap effect. For instance, when you learn that the alien "newcomers" react to saltwater like battery acid, you think you know what's coming next...and you're not disappointed...but in the final scenes they go beyond your expectations in how its used, not just as a solvent, but as the final glue of friendship. It's really kind of brilliant.

Tredekka Rules:

• Rule 4: Sweet Actor Bonus--Brian Thompson, +1 point & Terrence Stamp, +1 point [why do I call them points sometimes, and stars others, you might ask? Laziness and inconsistency. Next question.]
• Rule 5: Spitting = Good Acting. (I'm sure there's all kinds of spitting in this well acted movie, but the scene I'm awarding is one in which Terrence Stamp holds of a canister of alien drugs over his head while the Sykes/Caan shouts, "Move and you're history!" and Terence Stamp replies, "Not history--ETERNITY!!!" and breaks the canister, and gets a mouth full of yucky goo that splatters all over him like an alien money shot. +1 star.)
• Rule 6: Over The Top Acting Award. (+1 star, for the scene mentioned above and another +1 star for George Francisco explaining how that drug was used on his homeworld. "It was the only pleasure...ALLOWED!!" Who'da thunk Mandy Patinkin would kick ass? But it's true.)
• Rule 13 (NEW RULE): Spawned A Shitty TV Series Penalty (I won't hold movies responsible for having crappy sequels, but when they spawn crappy TV shows that prevent the movies from having sequels, even crappy ones, it pisses me off. I 'd rather see a crappy movie sequel than a crappy spinoff show. Granted, I used to watch the show and enjoy it, but I was a kid and didn't know any better. -3 points.)
• Rule 14 (NEW RULE): Cool Gun Award (Any Movie That Introduces A Cool-looking Gun I've Never Seen Before Gets A Bonus Point; +1 point...and yes, there was a ray-gun in Sky Captain, my last review, but it ran out of ammo and they had to shake it to make it work. That ain't cool, homes.)
• Rule 15 (NEW RULE): Practise Makes Perfect Bonus (I Like It When Cops Practise On The Firing Range. +1 point).

Tredekka Score: ( * * * * )