Blue Velvet ( * * * * )
"...I'll send you a love letter...straight from my heart FUCKER. You know what a love letter is from me...? It's a bullet from a fucking GUN, FUCKER!!" To me, that's pure poetry.
The Acting: Fuck everything else. This is Dennis Hopper's flick. He cries, he sexually assaults, he inhales some kinda gas like a hopped-up suburban Darth Vader, he says "Fuck" about a million times, he beats the shit out of Kyle MacLaughlan, he makes Ben sing Candy Colored Clown. This is a man who hates warm beer (warm beer makes him fucking puke), enjoys a nice swatch of blue velvet, doesn't like good neighbors, but DOES like abducting women and children, and cutting off men's ears. Hopper's performance has been described as "rabid" but that's putting it too lightly.
The Story: Boy finds a human ear lying in a field. Boy finds true love. Boy gets involved in a mystery, hides in a closet, gets a hummer from Isabella Rossellini while being simultaneously threatened with a steak knife. Dean Stockwell lip-synchs Roy Orbison into a work light to the delight of a crazed sociopath and his gang...ah, why go on? We've seen this story about a billion times. Try something new for a change, Hollywood.
The Direction: David Lynch.
Overall: "Why are there people like Frank? Why is there so much trouble in this world??" Why indeed. Maybe, as Laura Dern says, it's because the robins haven't come yet. What a fucked up movie.
Tredekka Rules:
The Acting: Fuck everything else. This is Dennis Hopper's flick. He cries, he sexually assaults, he inhales some kinda gas like a hopped-up suburban Darth Vader, he says "Fuck" about a million times, he beats the shit out of Kyle MacLaughlan, he makes Ben sing Candy Colored Clown. This is a man who hates warm beer (warm beer makes him fucking puke), enjoys a nice swatch of blue velvet, doesn't like good neighbors, but DOES like abducting women and children, and cutting off men's ears. Hopper's performance has been described as "rabid" but that's putting it too lightly.
The Story: Boy finds a human ear lying in a field. Boy finds true love. Boy gets involved in a mystery, hides in a closet, gets a hummer from Isabella Rossellini while being simultaneously threatened with a steak knife. Dean Stockwell lip-synchs Roy Orbison into a work light to the delight of a crazed sociopath and his gang...ah, why go on? We've seen this story about a billion times. Try something new for a change, Hollywood.
The Direction: David Lynch.
Overall: "Why are there people like Frank? Why is there so much trouble in this world??" Why indeed. Maybe, as Laura Dern says, it's because the robins haven't come yet. What a fucked up movie.
Tredekka Rules:
- Rule 4: Sweet Actor Bonus--Dennis Hopper, +1 star
- Rule 6: Over The Top Acting Award--Dennis Hopper, +4 stars. I mean, holy shit, dude. "Baby wants to fuck?" I can't picture anyone else playing Frank Booth. He is Frank Booth.
- Rule 17: The "Don't Fuck With The Fourth Wall" Penalty--the super-fake animatronic robin at the end is supposed to symbolize Hollywood conventions or something. But it's so crappy-looking it cracks the fourth wall, and it was clearly done that way on purpose. I'll forgive the firefighters who wave as the screen as they go by, though. -2 points.
- Rule 22: The Great Entrance Award--again, Hopper. "Where's my bourbon? It's daddy shithead!" Priceless. +1 star
- Rule 35: Any David Lynch Movie With Jack Nance, +1 star
- Rule 38: The "Blind Me Now" Penalty--goes to the too-much information Kyle MacLaughlan shot as he runs into Dorothy Vallens's closet. -1 star.
posted by Tredekka at 6:58 AM
1 Comments:
LETS FUCK,
etc....
dennis hopper is fantastic... apparently if you get him excited at parties he'll do his 'frank' impression.
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