Die Hard 2: Die Harder ( * * * )
Or as Sideshow Bob would say, "The Hard 2: The Harder." Fresh off of principal photography for the Yello-scored Adventures of Ford Fairlane, the all-but-unintelligible Renny Harlin made his mark on Hollywood with this film while simultaneously setting the stage for all of the adult action cartoons to follow in the 1990's. I remember trying to get in to see this rated R movie, and for one of two times in my life they wouldn't let me because I was a minor, so I went to see Gremlins 2: The New Batch, instead. See, this wasn't the first decade where every other movie was a sequel to something...
The Acting: Series regulars Bonnie Bedelia, William ("This man has no dick") Atherton, and Reggie V. himself, Reginald VelJohnson, team up with Bruce Willis for the second--and last--time. Great performances by John Amos and Senator Fred D. Thompson (R., Tennesee), not to mention the great William Sadler, who gets nekkid.
The Story: How can the same shit happen to the same guy twice? More importantly, how can a cargo plane have an ejector seat? Fuck it. It's Die Hard, baby! And it's got great edited for TV speak (You know, like in Fargo when Steve Buscemi talks about "Simple fucking instructions" and they change it to "Simple fruitful instructions"? Well in Die Hard 2, "Yippie Kay-Ay motherfucker" becomes "Yippie Kay-Ay, Mister Falcon" [!!!] and "You're not such an asshole after all" becomes "You're not such a rascal after all" to which John Amos responds, "I'm a rascal. I'm just your kind of rascal." Priceless.)
The Direction: Renny delivers, as he quite often does. He's a Hollywood workhorse, as far as I'm concerned--not the most talented, but he entertains. People swear and smoke gratuitiously, and British airplanes flown by Colm Meaney crash, killing hundreds. They'd never make this movie today.
Overall: I enjoyed the Robert Patrick cameo and the fact that Bonnie Bedelia is the only girl in the world not too grossed out by Willis to touch him when he gets all bloody. That's love. This also has the most nonsensical one-liner of the great heyday of action movies (the era being, of course, late 80's, early 90's): "Hey Carmine. Which sets off the metal detectors first: the lead in your ass or the shit in your brains?" Gentle No Voices... readers, if you can figure that out, I invite you to post a comment on the Blogger page. Cuz I don't have a fucking clue.
Tredekka Rules:
The Acting: Series regulars Bonnie Bedelia, William ("This man has no dick") Atherton, and Reggie V. himself, Reginald VelJohnson, team up with Bruce Willis for the second--and last--time. Great performances by John Amos and Senator Fred D. Thompson (R., Tennesee), not to mention the great William Sadler, who gets nekkid.
The Story: How can the same shit happen to the same guy twice? More importantly, how can a cargo plane have an ejector seat? Fuck it. It's Die Hard, baby! And it's got great edited for TV speak (You know, like in Fargo when Steve Buscemi talks about "Simple fucking instructions" and they change it to "Simple fruitful instructions"? Well in Die Hard 2, "Yippie Kay-Ay motherfucker" becomes "Yippie Kay-Ay, Mister Falcon" [!!!] and "You're not such an asshole after all" becomes "You're not such a rascal after all" to which John Amos responds, "I'm a rascal. I'm just your kind of rascal." Priceless.)
The Direction: Renny delivers, as he quite often does. He's a Hollywood workhorse, as far as I'm concerned--not the most talented, but he entertains. People swear and smoke gratuitiously, and British airplanes flown by Colm Meaney crash, killing hundreds. They'd never make this movie today.
Overall: I enjoyed the Robert Patrick cameo and the fact that Bonnie Bedelia is the only girl in the world not too grossed out by Willis to touch him when he gets all bloody. That's love. This also has the most nonsensical one-liner of the great heyday of action movies (the era being, of course, late 80's, early 90's): "Hey Carmine. Which sets off the metal detectors first: the lead in your ass or the shit in your brains?" Gentle No Voices... readers, if you can figure that out, I invite you to post a comment on the Blogger page. Cuz I don't have a fucking clue.
Tredekka Rules:
- Rule 3: Suck Actor Penalty--John Lequizamo, -1 star
- Rule 4: Sweet Actor Bonus--William Sadler, +1 star
- Rule 6: The Over The Top Acting Award--+1 point goes to William Sadler as the vicious Col. Stewart ("Weee've got ya...") and +1 to Willis for humanizing the ludicrous content of this movie.
- Rule 14: The Cool Gun Award--goes to the red and blue ammo guns used by the bad guys. It's sweet both visually and as a kick-ass plot device. +1 star
- Rule 24: Exploding Buildings are Good, +1 star
- Rule 38 (NEW RULE): The "Blind Me Now" Penalty: Any Film That Prominently Features A Naked Dude, -1 star
Tredekka Score: ( * * * )
posted by Tredekka at 4:43 PM
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