Returner ( * * )

What a delightful mish-mash of James Cameron and John Woo movies this is. Not an original bone in its body.

The Acting: Ya got me. I don't talk Chinklish.

The Story: Take the Abyss, Terminator, The Matrix, The Killer, Time Cop, E.T., Independence Day and, shit, I dunno, Rainbow Brite or something because Anne Suzuki is cute in a muppetish kind of way...mix it together...stir...serve.

The Direction: Derivitive, derivitive, derivitive. I think this whole movie was filmed just so that the trailer would cut together looking cool with all the invading spaceships and the one gun in each hand stuff.

Overall: Turn that switch in your brain to "off" if you want to enjoy this movie. You know the one. The switch you turned off so you could enjoy Street Fighter.

Tredekka Rules:

• Rule 11: Giant Robots Make Good Cinema--I'm not sure if they're robots or just transforming spaceships, but whatever they are they were cool as hell. One was a jet, the other a passenger plane. +1 point.
• Rule 22: The Great Entrance Award--The Daggra (aliens with the Tibetan name for "enemy") first appear in the guise of a harrier-like jet, which transforms into a bird-like configuration and spits out a bunch of Predator-looking motherfuckers that proceed to blow a bunch of human resistance members apart. Yet another case of me getting psyched by a sweet trailer only to discover the ridonculous movie that lies beneath. +1 star.

Tredekka Score: ( * * )