Team America: World Police ( * * * * )
"...Inebidibbble."
"What?"
"Inebbidibble."
"One more time."
"Things are inebbidibbbly going to change! Jesus Christ, open your fuckeen ears!"
Kim Jong Il (Trey Parker) gives a great villainous performance in this film, which tears the pussies of the world a new asshole, then fills that asshole with dicks (see the film and you'll understand exactly what I mean).
The Acting: I'm telling you, these actors must have trained with Yuen Wu Ping for years before they delved into the wire-work intensive martial arts of this film. They're right there on the set with blazing fires, Alec Baldwin, dangerous panthers, and hazardous stunts that must have been aided by heavy CGI, or else how could they do them? I think they had to have used a fake Gary head for the throwing up scene, or else...or else he really is the world's greatest actor.
The Story: Basically all the worst parts of the Bible. Kim Jong Il and a cadre of middle eastern terrorists--cleverly infiltrated by Team America--plot to create 9/11 times, like, 2,356. What is that? I don't know. No one knows.
The Direction: Most of the actors are so wooden, it must have been like directing a room full of Liv Tylers. Then again, directing inanimate objects is a snap. [I mean, I've been doing it for years. So FUCK YOU Trey Parker and Matt Stone. FUUUUCKK YOUUUU!! You think you can just walk into the scale model game and take it over like this? Rarr!! It makes me so fucking mad! But only on reflection. I was laughing till I cried in the theater.] I challenge anyone to walk out of that movie and not be humming "America--Fuck, Yeah!" somewhere in the back of their brain.
Overall: Trey Parker says that if the song "I'm Lonely" get's nominated for an Academy Award, he's going to get Kim Jong Il to come sing it. Then Trey Parker will get a Nobel Peace Prize, and the universe will explode like every set and prop in this film.
Tredekka Rules:
"What?"
"Inebbidibble."
"One more time."
"Things are inebbidibbbly going to change! Jesus Christ, open your fuckeen ears!"
Kim Jong Il (Trey Parker) gives a great villainous performance in this film, which tears the pussies of the world a new asshole, then fills that asshole with dicks (see the film and you'll understand exactly what I mean).
The Acting: I'm telling you, these actors must have trained with Yuen Wu Ping for years before they delved into the wire-work intensive martial arts of this film. They're right there on the set with blazing fires, Alec Baldwin, dangerous panthers, and hazardous stunts that must have been aided by heavy CGI, or else how could they do them? I think they had to have used a fake Gary head for the throwing up scene, or else...or else he really is the world's greatest actor.
The Story: Basically all the worst parts of the Bible. Kim Jong Il and a cadre of middle eastern terrorists--cleverly infiltrated by Team America--plot to create 9/11 times, like, 2,356. What is that? I don't know. No one knows.
The Direction: Most of the actors are so wooden, it must have been like directing a room full of Liv Tylers. Then again, directing inanimate objects is a snap. [I mean, I've been doing it for years. So FUCK YOU Trey Parker and Matt Stone. FUUUUCKK YOUUUU!! You think you can just walk into the scale model game and take it over like this? Rarr!! It makes me so fucking mad! But only on reflection. I was laughing till I cried in the theater.] I challenge anyone to walk out of that movie and not be humming "America--Fuck, Yeah!" somewhere in the back of their brain.
Overall: Trey Parker says that if the song "I'm Lonely" get's nominated for an Academy Award, he's going to get Kim Jong Il to come sing it. Then Trey Parker will get a Nobel Peace Prize, and the universe will explode like every set and prop in this film.
Tredekka Rules:
- Rule 5: Spitting = Good Acting. I think it can be said there was no vanity or selfconscious acting in Gary's explosive performance in the alleyway behind the bar. +1 star.
- Rule 6: Over The Top Acting Award--goes to Helen Hunt, for the finest performance of her distinguished career. +1 star.
- Rule 7: Cameo By Puppet Intestines, +1 star.
- Rule 14: Cool Gun Award--1 star goes to Kim Jong Il's badass, gangsta, 1/3 scale Desert Eagle.
- Rule 15: Practise Makes Perfect--it's not a police firing range, but it is a World Police firing range. +1 star.
- Rule 17: The "Don't Fuck With The Fourth Wall" Penalty--goes to the puppet strings that hang in every shot. I'm only deducting 2 points, though, because they actually help clarify the action on screen during a crucial scene in which Gary proves his loyalty to Spottswoode in the most unequivocal way a male puppet can.
- Rule 24: Exploding Buildings Are Good--someone in the audience actually cheered when the world-famous Parisian art museum the Louvre was decimated by an American missle. Fuck yeah!! +1 star.
Tredekka Score: ( * * * * )
posted by Tredekka at 11:14 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home