Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Story of Ricky ( * * * )

Simply one of the goriest--and funniest--films ever made.

The Acting: I like IMDB and all, but I ain't looking up a bunch of Asian names. Ricky (or Riki-Oh) is the star, and he's beset by some of the worst villains to ever grace the silver screen, by which I mean a dubbed VHS tape by Revok Film Prodigies in Canada, which was where I got my first copy of this. The DVD version is inferior, because they change it where the tongue-less kid is Hai's "son" instead of, more appropriate to the prison setting, his "lover." And in the DVD, Elephant kills for rice, instead of candy bars, making him too much of a monster for even me to believe. But the DVD does have the dude on the toilet singing "Satisfaction" by the Rolling Stones instead of whatever the fuck chinky song he was singing. If any of this is of any interest to you, reader, God help us all. Let's move on.

The Story (SPOILERS): It is the near future. Riki meets his uncle. He beats up a graveyard. A mannequin resembling his girlfriend falls off a building. Riki goes sickhouse on a drug dealer's ass, turning his head into an ashtray. He goes to jail (where the movie actually starts, the rest is flashback). The Asst. Warden eats candy out of his fake eye and threatens Ricky, who gives him a bloody nose without touching him. He confronts the Gang of Four, killing one of them by first whomping him on the back of the head so hard that his eye pops out, then the guy tries to "take you [Ricky] with me!" by pulling out his own intestines and strangling Ricky with them. This is the same scene where Ricky sews up his own cut arm with some spare tendons, or something, and one of the prisoners' Greek chorus shouts, "Repaired!" Then Taizan and the other gang shows up. Taizan smashes some dude's head with his bare hands (see photo above). Ricky gets mad at injustice and fights the rain. Then Ricky burns down a poppy field, cuz he hates drug dealers. They go zero hour on his ass, and he winds up frozen in concrete. Then he punches Taizan's fingers off in jail, before he is tasered, nearly crushed by a hydraulic press, and dropped down a trap door. Then they bury him alive for like a month. Then a dog gets kicked in half, for absolutely no good reason. Then Ricky comes back, and meets the Warden, who tortures him in ways I can barely understand, much less describe. A big fight ensues. Ricky and the Warden face off after the Asst. Warden blows up from an exploding bullet. The Warden starts to shake, and his arms grow out, and he becomes a demon or something. Ricky "steals his energy" as his uncle taught him, but I think the part where Ricky puts him in a meat grinder is his own invention. After the goriest meat-grinding scene imaginable, Ricky pulls a Warden-shaped dummy head out of the carnage and shows it to the inmates, who he then frees by punching through a wall. I left out some of the violent parts of the review, so the parents reading wouldn't get offended. All I can say is, if you haven't seen this movie already, you MUST RENT IT. It is probably beyond anything you've ever experienced.

The Direction: This is the one movie where Paul Verhoeven would watch it and go, "Wow...that's, like, too much blood. LESS BLOOD! LESS BLOOD!"

Overall: Rent it with a friend, to share the priviledge and the pain that is watching Riki-Oh.

Tredekka Rules:
  • Rule 6: Over The Top Acting Award--Mmm, let's just say "Warden" and give it to him. Any number of actors deserve it, but few turn into demons simply because they forgot their "medicine." +1 star.
  • Rule 7: Extended Cameo By Human Intestines--this is a one time only variation of this rule. These are the John Geilguds of human intestines. So, they receive a well-deserved +3 stars. (Why not +5? No guts are that good. They'd have to sing and dance in a wall-to-wall musical to merit that kind of bonus.)
  • Rule 16: The Paul Verhoeven "More Blood!" Award--I cannot help but award +1 point. This movie may be the bloodiest ever. Technically, I suppose Kill Bill maybe had more blood, but nowhere near the blood/gore combo evident here.
  • Rule 17: The "Don't Fuck With The Fourth Wall" Penalty--or in this case, do fuck with it--the humorously fake blood and gore is worth the cost of admission, and thank God the effects aren't realistic, or I would hurl instead of laugh so hard I hurl. -1 star.
  • Rule 34: The Superhero Movie Handicap, -1 star. It is based on a Manga, after all...
  • Rule 38: The "Blind Me Now" Penalty--for multiple naked dudes in the prison shower. Fortunately, no wangs were in evidence. -1 star.
  • Rule 39: Dystopian Futures Are Fun! +1 star.

Tredekka Score: ( * * * )

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