Total Recall ( * * * * )
Remember when movies were good?
The Acting: Schwarzenegger is awesomely miscast as a mild-mannered construction worker who wants to escape from his life, even though he's banging Sharon Stone when she was back in her prime. Michael Ironside makes any movie he's in kick-ass, and Robocop's Ronny Cox plays another deliciously evil Verhoeven villain. What's not to like? Maybe Robert Picardo as Johnny Cab. He's creepy.
The Story: Blue skies on mars? Aliens? Corn flakes? Does the story matter? It's Paul Verhoeven we're talking about. He could make a movie about Vegas showgirls good. Oh, wait...
The Direction: Ah, the subtle irony and delicate touches. I love it. Like when Arnie bloodily and pnuematically drills--or "screws"--a vehicle and its lone driver, screaming, "Benny! Screwwww youuu!!" That's storytelling for ya.
Overall: "Quaid, start the reactor"--"See you at the party Richtor!"--"Get ready for a surprise!"--"Ha ha ha--you think I'm the real Quaid? I am!"--"I bet she hated every minute of it"--"You do as your told: THAT'S what you do!"--"Man, I got five kids to feed."--"If I'm not me, who the hell am I?" If you don't remember at least three of those lines, it's been too long since you've seen Total Recall. Time to get your ass to Mars.
Tredekka Rules:
The Acting: Schwarzenegger is awesomely miscast as a mild-mannered construction worker who wants to escape from his life, even though he's banging Sharon Stone when she was back in her prime. Michael Ironside makes any movie he's in kick-ass, and Robocop's Ronny Cox plays another deliciously evil Verhoeven villain. What's not to like? Maybe Robert Picardo as Johnny Cab. He's creepy.
The Story: Blue skies on mars? Aliens? Corn flakes? Does the story matter? It's Paul Verhoeven we're talking about. He could make a movie about Vegas showgirls good. Oh, wait...
The Direction: Ah, the subtle irony and delicate touches. I love it. Like when Arnie bloodily and pnuematically drills--or "screws"--a vehicle and its lone driver, screaming, "Benny! Screwwww youuu!!" That's storytelling for ya.
Overall: "Quaid, start the reactor"--"See you at the party Richtor!"--"Get ready for a surprise!"--"Ha ha ha--you think I'm the real Quaid? I am!"--"I bet she hated every minute of it"--"You do as your told: THAT'S what you do!"--"Man, I got five kids to feed."--"If I'm not me, who the hell am I?" If you don't remember at least three of those lines, it's been too long since you've seen Total Recall. Time to get your ass to Mars.
Tredekka Rules:
- Rule 4: Sweet Actor Bonus--Michael Ironside, a whopping +4 stars.
- Rule 6: Over The Top Acting Award--goes to Kuato. When he shows up out of that dude's body, the whole fucking movie goes over the top. +1 star.
- Rule 13: Spawned A Shitty TV Series Penalty, -1 star.
- Rule 16: The Paul Verhoeven "More Blood!" Award--obviously, +1 star, because this is the movie that elucidated the Dutch genius's directorial style. According to Sharon Stone in an interview, he would all the time say on the set, "More blood! More blood!"
- Rule 17: The "Don't Fuck With The Fourth Wall" Penalty--the science in this movie is so laughably bad (an ice core on mars, people depressurizing without getting the bends, uh...Kuato) that it tests the boundaries of disbelief. But I still love it. -1 star.
Tredekka Score: ( * * * * )
posted by Tredekka at 4:31 PM
1 Comments:
also has the fantastic line "consider der der der der-worse"
usually translate as "consider this a divorce"
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