Titanic ( * * * )

Sure, it's a $200 million chick flick, but it's also the last non-documentary movie by James Cameron. It won a bunch of Oscars, but don't let that fool you. It's actually pretty good despite that fact.

The Acting: When you're making the most expensive film in history, you cast to type and play it pretty straight.

The Story: See above. The ship sinks, we all know it sinks, that's why we're there. But Cameron's script makes the leads likeable enough where we kind of dread the third act.

The Direction: Remember that time that one guy hit the propeller of the Titanic when he fell down? That was awesome.

Overall: The cast and crew had a fish dinner poised with LSD during the making of this film, and James Cameron was often accused of being on drugs for making this movie. He was especially under fire for the long delays, but it's like he said, nobody ever said of a movie, "boy that sucked, but at least it was made on time and under budget."

Tredekka Rules:

• Rule 3: Suck Actor Penalty--Billy Zane, -1 star.
• Rule 4: Sweet Actor Bonus--David Warner +1 star. David Warner is an actor so evil, that when he played opposite Malcolm McDowell in Time After Time, David Warner played Jack The Ripper and Macolm McDowell played the good guy.
• Rule 5: Spittin = Good Acting--boy, they spit a lot in this movie. It's gross. +1 point.
• Rule 6: Over The Top Acting Award--goes to the ship. It looks good and it has a great death scene. And it only took about three FX houses to make it happen. +1 star.
• Rule 12: Dodged The Pretentious Bullet Award--They don't so much dodge the Pretentious Bullet as they do barely catch it in their teeth. It's a close call, but +1 star for making a character-driven story about man's technological hubris.

Tredekka Score: ( * * * )