Interview With The Vampire ( * * * )
A lot of fat goth chicks shed bitter tears when this came out, including the screenwriter and creator, Anne Rice, because Tom Cruise was too hunky to play a depressed faggot vampire. Wrong! Wrong! He's exactly hunky enough to play a depressed faggot vampire. It's like Rick James told Charlie Murphy: THE DARKNESS IS SPREADING! Fellow depressed gay vamps include Brad Pitt, Antonio Banderas, and presumably Christian Slater. It's like a cross between Tiger Beat and Lost Boys. Or is that redundant?
The Acting: I don't know. Pretty gay. Check on Thandie Newton as a hot slave girl, crossing paths with Tom Cruise pre-M:I-2, if you want. It's not very exciting, in retrospect. Forget I mentioned it, actually.
The Story: Guy gets drunk. Wakes up a vampire. Mopes in Louisiana for a hundred or so years. His evil roomate kills a girl's family and turns her into a bloodsucker. Guy and the little girl kill the roomate, move to Paris, meet Stephen Rea, and one of them cuts him in half with a scythe before setting fire to him and a bunch of hot Parisian nosferatu hos. Somewhere in there, Antonio Banderas and Brad Pitt almost kiss in a queesily suspenseful scene of homoeroticism that could only be written by a fat Goth chick.
The Direction: Stephen Rea is Neil Jordan's boy. He's his Michael Beihn, his De Niro, if you will. And for a guy whose face, according to one reviewer, "looks like an unmade bed" he sure is a sweet villain. Alternately capering, killing, clowning around and being generally menacing, he steals the third act of this overlong film. This was one of the first features to use CGI to mask its settings, and the fact that you can't tell is a great testament to Jordan's skill as a craftsman.
Overall: They almost make it to the end credits without having something stupid like a car driving into the side of the Golden Gate Bridge while Guns N' Roses cover "Sympathy For The Devil". So close, but so faraway.
Tredekka Rules:
The Acting: I don't know. Pretty gay. Check on Thandie Newton as a hot slave girl, crossing paths with Tom Cruise pre-M:I-2, if you want. It's not very exciting, in retrospect. Forget I mentioned it, actually.
The Story: Guy gets drunk. Wakes up a vampire. Mopes in Louisiana for a hundred or so years. His evil roomate kills a girl's family and turns her into a bloodsucker. Guy and the little girl kill the roomate, move to Paris, meet Stephen Rea, and one of them cuts him in half with a scythe before setting fire to him and a bunch of hot Parisian nosferatu hos. Somewhere in there, Antonio Banderas and Brad Pitt almost kiss in a queesily suspenseful scene of homoeroticism that could only be written by a fat Goth chick.
The Direction: Stephen Rea is Neil Jordan's boy. He's his Michael Beihn, his De Niro, if you will. And for a guy whose face, according to one reviewer, "looks like an unmade bed" he sure is a sweet villain. Alternately capering, killing, clowning around and being generally menacing, he steals the third act of this overlong film. This was one of the first features to use CGI to mask its settings, and the fact that you can't tell is a great testament to Jordan's skill as a craftsman.
Overall: They almost make it to the end credits without having something stupid like a car driving into the side of the Golden Gate Bridge while Guns N' Roses cover "Sympathy For The Devil". So close, but so faraway.
Tredekka Rules:
- Rule 4: Sweet Actor Bonus--Stephen Rea, +1 star.
- Rule 6: Over The Top Acting Award--I was quoting Brad Pitt screaming, "Don't ask me to do this I cannot!" for weeks after this trailer came out. Sad, innit? +1 star.
- Rule 22: The Great Entrance Award--when a corpsefied Tom Cruise returns to torment his killers, does he start out with a hatchet or a gas can? Of course not. He'd rather play the piano and fuck with they heads. That's gangsta. +1 star.
Tredekka Score: ( * * * )
posted by Tredekka at 10:52 PM
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