Welcome

Tredekka here. Welcome to my movie review blog; as it is placed right here out in the open on the internet I'm surprised it took you so long to find it, but you're here now and that's what really counts. Now, there are a few ways to do movie reviews...let's look!

• First, Thumb's up/thumb's down. In a way, this is the most relevant type of movie review, because either you're going to watch the movie or not. If a movie gets two and a half stars, you don't plan on watching half and then walking out. But it's so motherfucking boring. Stick your thumbs up your ass.
• Second, One to ten stars, chainsaws, etc. This gives you a wider gradation scale...too wide, in my opinion. The main advantage of this technique is that you can give This Is Spinal Tap eleven stars and piss all over the convention while simultaneously honoring the first Rockumentary. But you'd have to like This Is Spinal Tap more than I do to think it actually deserves eleven stars. If you want this kind of movie rating system, go read Hubbs' blog.
• Last, The Five Star System. That's what I'm talkin' about. Roger Ebert uses this, including half stars and the possibility of zero stars, and I love reading his reviews, but the half stars are bullshit. That's the same as having an eleven star system! Enough of the Spinal Tap shit!

So the Tredekka system is you can get between zero and five stars, period. But then there are also the enigmatic and befuddling Tredekka Rules, which I will probably be adding to with each movie, that will complicate things enormously, but hopefully will be very illuminating for the serious moviegoers. We will begin with the film that defines many of the Tredekka rule systems, Deadfall, and you will understand what I mean...

LET'S BEGIN!!