The Matrix Revolutions (ZERO STARS)

In Deadfall, Charlie Sheen says the line of a two-piece pool stick, "This is one of those rare occasions when one...plus one...equals one." Well, in the case of the Matrix trilogy, it's even rarer. One...plus one...equals zilch.

The Acting: Monica Bellucci is fantastically beautiful.

The Story: Her boobs are nice.

The Direction: We see a pretty good overhead shot of her boobs.

Overall: Set aside the fact that there's no decent resolution. Set aside the fact that humanity is still pretty much screwed. Set aside the fact that there's repetitive and protracted death scenes. Set aside the fact that outside of Zion there's no real people to be found in the last two movies, so it feels like nothing's at stake. Set aside the fact that the machines, who outmatch the humans in every respect, swarm above Zion like retards when they all they have to do is laser one bridge and they win. Set aside that the machines in general behave like such retards that their only possible motivation for creating the matrix at all is cost-inefficient sadism, and that their behavior is so idiotic that we cannot possibly suspend disbelief in the "real world" we're given. Set all that aside and you have...uh...nothing to talk about. This movie licks scrote.

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Tredekka Score: ZERO STARS